Jokes To Learn English-2

Some jokes that can help you learn English:

101. Why did the bicycle fall over?

Because it was two-tired.

Explanation: This is a play on words. "Two-tired" sounds like "too tired," meaning exhausted, but it also describes a bicycle with two tires.

102. Why was the computer cold?

Because it left its Windows open.

Explanation: This is a play on words. "Windows" refers to the operating system used by many computers, but it also refers to the physical windows in a building that can be opened to let in cold air.

103. Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide.

Explanation: This is a play on words. "Slide" can refer to both a playground structure and a movement where one object or person moves down at an angle.

104. Why did the banana go to the doctor?

Because it wasn't peeling well.

Explanation: This is a play on words. "Peeling" means removing the outer layer of a fruit or vegetable, but it sounds like "feeling," which in this case is not well.

105. Why did the music teacher need a ladder?

To reach the high notes.

Explanation: This is a play on words. "High notes" refers to musical notes that are at a high pitch, but it also means things that are difficult to reach or achieve.

106. Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer?

He just couldn't see himself doing it.

Explanation: This is a play on words. The invisible man couldn't see himself doing the job because he is invisible.

107. Why was the math book so sad?

Because it had too many problems.

Explanation: This is a play on words. "Problems" can refer to both mathematical exercises and negative situations.

108. What do you call a dog magician?

A Labracadabrador.

Explanation: This is a play on words. "Labracadabrador" combines "Labrador," a popular breed of dog, with "abracadabra," a phrase often used by magicians.

109. Why did the chicken join the séance?

To talk to the other side.

Explanation: This is a play on words. "The other side" usually refers to the afterlife, but in this joke, it refers to the other side of the séance table.

110. What did the left eye say to the right eye?

Between us, something smells.

Explanation: This is a play on words. "Between us" usually means that there is a secret or private conversation, but in this joke, it refers to the space between the eyes, where the nose is.

111. Why did the cookie go to the doctor?

Because it was feeling crummy.

Explanation: This is a play on words. "Crumbs" are the small pieces of a cookie that fall apart, but "crummy" is also a slang word for feeling unwell.

112. Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.

Explanation: This is a play on words. "Outstanding" means excellent or exceptional, but it also describes the scarecrow's position in the field.

113. Why did the tomato turn red?

Because it saw the salad dressing.

Explanation: This is a play on words. "Salad dressing" is often used on salads that include tomatoes, but it also refers to the act of dressing up or preparing oneself for something, which might cause excitement or anticipation in the tomato.

114. Why was the math book sad?

Because it had too many problems.

Explanation: This is a play on words. "Problems" in this case can refer to mathematical exercises, but it can also refer to negative situations.

115. Why did the coffee file a police report?

It got mugged.

Explanation: This is a play on words. "Mugged" usually means robbed or assaulted, but in this case, it refers to a cup or mug used to hold coffee.

116. Why did the math teacher break up with the calculator?

Because they couldn't work it out.

Explanation: This is a play on words. "Work it out" usually refers to solving a problem, but in this case, it also means resolving a romantic issue.

117. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a shark?

Frostbite.

Explanation: This is a play on words. "Frostbite" is a medical condition caused by exposure to cold temperatures, but it also refers to the icy nature of a snowman and the sharp teeth of a shark.

118. Why did the chicken go to the séance?

To speak to the other side.

Explanation: This is a play on words. "The other side" usually refers to the afterlife, but in this joke, it refers to the other side of the séance table.

119. Why did the frog call his insurance company?

He had a jump in his car.

Explanation: This is a play on words. "Jump" can refer to both the act of leaping as a frog does and a sudden increase in the car's battery voltage.

120. Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road?

It ran out of juice.

Explanation: This is a play on words. "Juice" usually refers to the liquid inside a grape, but it can also refer to the fuel or energy that powers a car.

121. Why don’t skeletons fight each other?

Because they don’t have the guts.

Explanation: This is a play on words. "Guts" can mean both courage and internal organs, which skeletons lack.

122. What did one ocean say to the other ocean?

Nothing, they just waved.

Explanation: This is a play on words. "Waved" can mean both a hand gesture of greeting and the movement of ocean waves.

123. Why don’t eggs tell jokes?

Because they might crack up.

Explanation: This is a play on words. "Crack up" means to laugh uncontrollably, but eggs can also crack physically.

124. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?

In case he got a hole in one.

Explanation: This is a play on words. A "hole in one" is a perfect golf shot, but "a hole in one" can also refer to torn clothing.

125. Why did the football team go to the bank?

To get their quarterback.

Explanation: This is a play on words. "Quarterback" is a football position, but it also refers to getting a quarter of a dollar back.

126. Why did the man put his money in the blender?

Because he wanted liquid assets.

Explanation: This is a play on words. "Liquid assets" refer to easily accessible money, but putting money in a blender would literally turn it into liquid.

127. Why don’t some couples go to the gym?

Because some relationships don’t work out.

Explanation: This is a play on words. "Work out" means both exercising and maintaining a successful relationship.

128. Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?

Because they lactose.

Explanation: This is a play on words. "Lactose" sounds like "lack toes," but it is also the sugar found in milk, which cows produce.

129. What do you call fake spaghetti?

An impasta.

Explanation: This is a play on words. "Impasta" sounds like "imposter," which means a fake or fraud.

130. Why did the scarecrow become a motivational speaker?

Because he was outstanding in his field.

Explanation: This is a play on words. "Outstanding" means excellent, but it also means literally standing in a field, as scarecrows do.

131. Why did the barber win the race?

Because he knew all the shortcuts.

Explanation: This is a play on words. "Shortcuts" refer to both quicker routes in a race and shorter hairstyles that barbers give.

132. Why don’t scientists trust atoms?

Because they make up everything.

Explanation: This is a play on words. "Make up" means both composing matter and creating lies.

133. Why did the skeleton go to the party alone?

Because he had no body to go with him.

Explanation: This is a play on words. "No body" sounds like "nobody," but skeletons also lack flesh.

134. Why don’t melons get married?

Because they cantaloupe.

Explanation: This is a play on words. "Cantaloupe" is a type of melon, but "can't elope" means they cannot run away to get married.

135. Why was the belt arrested?

For holding up a pair of pants.

Explanation: This is a play on words. "Holding up" means both supporting pants and committing a robbery.

136. Why do seagulls fly over the ocean?

Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels.

Explanation: This is a play on words. "Bay-gulls" sounds like "bagels," a type of bread.

137. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?

Supplies!

Explanation: This is a play on words. "Supplies" sounds like "surprise," but janitors store cleaning supplies in closets.

138. Why did the tomato blush?

Because it saw the salad dressing.

Explanation: This is a play on words. "Dressing" refers to both putting on clothes and salad dressing.

139. Why don’t crabs give to charity?

Because they’re shellfish.

Explanation: This is a play on words. "Shellfish" refers to crabs, but "selfish" means not sharing.

140. Why do bicycles fall over?

Because they are two-tired.

Explanation: This is a play on words. "Two-tired" sounds like "too tired," meaning exhausted, but also describes a bike with two tires.

141. Why did the coffee file a police report?

Because it got mugged.

Explanation: This is a play on words. "Mugged" means both being robbed and being put in a coffee mug.

142. What do you call a factory that makes good products?

A satisfactory.

Explanation: This is a play on words. "Satisfactory" means acceptable or good, but it also sounds like "satisfac-tory," a place where things are made.

143. Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road?

Because it ran out of juice.

Explanation: This is a play on words. "Juice" refers to both a drink made from grapes and energy or power.

144. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?

An abdominal snowman.

Explanation: This is a play on words. "Abdominal" refers to the stomach muscles, and it sounds like "Abominable Snowman," a mythical creature.

145. Why was the calendar so popular?

Because it had a lot of dates.

Explanation: This is a play on words. "Dates" refer to both days on a calendar and romantic outings.

146. Why did the baker go to therapy?

Because he kneaded it.

Explanation: This is a play on words. "Kneaded" refers to both needing therapy and working dough in baking.

147. What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer.

Explanation: This is a play on words. "Bulldozer" is a type of machine, but it can also describe a bull that is dozing (sleeping).

148. Why did the clock break up with the calendar?

Because it needed some space.

Explanation: This is a play on words. "Needed some space" refers to both time and distance in relationships.

149. Why did the banana go to the doctor?

Because it wasn’t peeling well.

Explanation: This is a play on words. "Peeling well" sounds like "feeling well," but bananas have peels.

150. Why did the fisherman put his money in the freezer?

Because he wanted cold, hard cash.

Explanation: This is a play on words. "Cold, hard cash" means real money, but freezing it makes it literally cold and hard.

151. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot.

Explanation: This is a play on words. "Carrot" sounds like "parrot," but it is a vegetable.

152. Why did the picture go to jail?

Because it was framed.

Explanation: This is a play on words. "Framed" means both being put in a picture frame and being falsely accused of a crime.

153. What’s the best way to watch a fly-fishing tournament?

Live stream.

Explanation: This is a play on words. "Live stream" refers to both watching something online in real time and a flowing stream where people fish.

154. Why don’t skeletons use cell phones?

Because they don’t have any body to call.

Explanation: This is a play on words. "Any body" sounds like "anybody," but skeletons lack flesh.

155. Why do math books always look sad?

Because they have too many problems.

Explanation: This is a play on words. "Problems" refer to both difficulties and math exercises.

156. Why did the baker open a business?

Because he wanted to make some dough.

Explanation: This is a play on words. "Dough" refers to both uncooked bread and money.

157. Why did the stadium get so hot?

Because all the fans left.

Explanation: This is a play on words. "Fans" refer to both people cheering and devices that cool the air.

158. Why couldn’t the leopard hide?

Because he was always spotted.

Explanation: This is a play on words. "Spotted" means both having spots and being seen.

159. What did the grape say when it got stepped on?

Nothing, it just let out a little whine.

Explanation: This is a play on words. "Whine" means to complain, but it sounds like "wine," which is made from grapes.

160. Why do cows make great listeners?

Because they’re all ears.

Explanation: This is a play on words. "All ears" means paying full attention, but cows have large ears.

161. Why did the bicycle fall over?

Because it was two-tired.

Explanation: This is a play on words. "Two-tired" sounds like "too tired," and a bicycle has two tires.

162. Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.

Explanation: This is a play on words. A "field" can refer to a farm field or an area of expertise, and "outstanding" means exceptionally good or impressive.

163. Why did the frog call his insurance company?

He had a jump in his car.

Explanation: This is a play on words. "Jump" can mean a sudden upward movement or starting a car by jumping the battery.

164. Why don't vampires have many friends?

Because they're a pain in the neck.

Explanation: This is a play on words. A "pain in the neck" is an annoying or bothersome person or thing, and vampires bite their victims on the neck.

165. Why did the math book look so sad?

Because it had too many problems.

Explanation: This is a play on words. "Problems" can refer to math problems or difficulties in life.

166. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a shark?

Frostbite.

Explanation: This is a play on words. "Frostbite" is a condition where body tissue freezes due to cold temperatures, and "bite" refers to what a shark does.

167. Why did the chicken join the band?

Because it had drumsticks!

Explanation: This is a play on words. "Drumsticks" can refer to the musical instrument, but it also refers to the chicken's legs.

168. What did one wall say to the other wall?"

I'll meet you at the corner!"

Explanation: This is a play on words. The walls of a building meet at a corner, but "meet you at the corner" can also mean to meet someone on the street corner.

169. Why do bees hum?

They don't know the words.

Explanation: This is a play on words. "Humming" can mean to make a low, continuous sound, but it can also mean to sing without words.

170. What do you call an alligator in a vest?

An investigator.

Explanation: This is a play on words. "Investigator" means someone who investigates or looks into something, but it sounds like "in vestigator."

171. Why don't skeletons fight each other?

They don't have the guts.

Explanation: This is a play on words. "Guts" can mean courage, but it also refers to the internal organs that skeletons don't have.

172. Why was the computer cold?

Because it left its Windows open.

Explanation: This is a play on words. "Windows" refers to the operating system used on computers, but it can also refer to the openings in a building that let in air.

173. What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?

Sofishticated.

Explanation: This is a play on words. "Sophisticated" means refined and cultured, but it sounds like "so fish-ticated."

174. Why don't ghosts use elevators?

They lift their spirits.

Explanation: This is a play on words. "Lifting your spirits" means to improve your mood or outlook, but it can also refer to a ghost floating or levitating.

175. What do you call a bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear.

Explanation: This is a play on words. "Gummy bears" are a type of candy, but it's also referencing the fact that bears without teeth can't chew on hard foods.

176. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

In case he got a hole in one.

Explanation: This is a play on words. "Hole in one" is a term used in golf when a player hits the ball into the hole with only one shot, but it's also referencing the fact that the golfer wore two pairs of pants as a backup.

177. Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

Explanation: This is a play on words. "Horns" can mean the pointy protrusions on the cow's head, but it can also mean the sound a car makes when honking.

178. Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they would be bagels.

Explanation: This is a play on words. "Bay-gulls" sounds like "bagels," which is a type of bread.

179. What's the best way to watch a fly fishing tournament?

Live stream.

Explanation: This is a play on words. "Live stream" usually refers to watching an event in real time online, but in this joke, it's also referring to a stream where fish can be caught.

180. What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?

A stick.

Explanation: This is a play on words. A boomerang is a curved throwing tool that's designed to come back when thrown, but a stick is just a straight piece of wood.

181. What did the left eye say to the right eye?

"Between us, something smells."

Explanation: This is a play on words. "Between us" usually refers to something shared only between two people, but in this joke, it refers to the nose, which is located between the two eyes.

182. Why don't ants get sick?

They have tiny ant-bodies.

Explanation: This is a play on words. "Ant-bodies" sounds like "antibodies," which are the proteins that help our bodies fight off infections.

183. Why do bicycles fall over?

Because they're two-tired.

Explanation: This is a play on words. "Two-tired" sounds like "too tired," but it's also referencing the fact that bicycles have two tires.

184. What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta.

Explanation: This is a play on words. "Impasta" sounds like "impostor," which means someone who pretends to be something they're not.

185. Why did the tomato turn red?

Because it saw the salad dressing!

Explanation: This is a play on words. "Dressing" can mean the sauce or liquid used to flavor a salad, but it can also mean to dress up or wear fancy clothes.

186. Why don't aliens eat humans? Because they prefer a diet that's out of this world.

Explanation: This is a play on words. "Out of this world" can mean amazing or incredible, but it's also referencing the fact that aliens are from another planet.

187. What do you call a bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear.

Explanation: This is a play on words. "Gummy bears" are a type of candy, but it's also referencing the fact that bears without teeth can't chew on hard foods.

188. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

In case he got a hole in one.

Explanation: This is a play on words. "Hole in one" is a term used in golf when a player hits the ball into the hole with only one shot, but it's also referencing the fact that the golfer wore two pairs of pants as a backup.

189. Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don't work.

Explanation: This is a play on words. "Horns" can mean the pointy protrusions on the cow's head, but it can also mean the sound a car makes when honking.

190. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a shark?

Frostbite.

Explanation: This is a play on words. "Frostbite" is a condition where body tissue freezes due to cold temperatures, but it also sounds like "frost bite," which a shark might do.

191. What's the best way to watch a fly fishing tournament?

Live stream.

Explanation: This is a play on words. "Live stream" usually refers to watching an event in real-time online, but in this joke, it's also referring to a stream where fish can be caught.

192. Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.

Explanation: This is a play on words. "Outstanding in his field" means someone who excels in their chosen area, but it's also referencing the fact that a scarecrow would be standing in a field.

193. What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?

A stick.

Explanation: This is a play on words. A boomerang is a curved throwing tool that's designed to come back when thrown, but a stick is just a straight piece of wood.

194. What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a trampoline and a well-dressed man on a trampoline?

Attire.

Explanation: This is a play on words. "Attire" refers to clothing or dress, but it sounds like "a tire," which is a part of a trampoline.

195. Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they would be bagels.

Explanation: This is a play on words. "Bay-gulls" sounds like "bagels," which is a type of bread.

196. Why don't scientists trust atoms?

Because they make up everything.

Explanation: This is a play on words. Atoms are the basic building blocks of matter, but the phrase "they make up everything" also means they are the foundation of all things.

197. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?

Frostbite.

Explanation: This is a play on words. "Frostbite" is a condition where body tissue freezes due to cold temperatures, but it's also referencing the fact that vampires are often associated with biting.

198. Why was the math book sad?

Because it had too many problems.

Explanation: This is a play on words. In math, a problem refers to a question or exercise that needs to be solved, but it can also mean an issue or difficulty.

199. What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards?

A receding hare-line.

Explanation: This is a play on words. "Receding hairline" refers to when hairline moves back from the forehead, but in this joke, it's replaced with "hare-line," which references rabbits.

200. Why don't bicycles ever tell jokes?

Because they're two-tired.

Explanation: This is a play on words. "Two-tired" sounds like "too tired," but it's also referencing the fact that bicycles have two tires.